Fa La La La.... La La La La....

Mele Kalikimaka 🎁

Cole

Cole's hair is as long as a wizard's. Maybe Harry Potter or The Hobbit is casting soon in Hawaii, but if not I can be at peace knowing he will blend in well with the local hobo population. It's strong here in Lahaina, where beach showers, and warm weather are plenty and jobs are few. Is his hair too long or is his head too small? Text me with your thoughts and if they’re as strange as mine I'm sure to agree.

Who knew the Westside of Maui was so Gangster?

He's realized math and science (along with flexing) are his forte and so a career in engineering might be in the cards. He went from almost failing 7th and 8th grade (which is tough to do unless homicide is involved) to graduating 9th grade sorta cum laude. One of his teachers even informed me that one day he paid attention! Yay Cole. So happy you've found your true calling in life: a place where introverts and non team players unite in deep thoughts and quiet work.

Yep.  LOTS of flexing around these days. — Yep. LOTS of flexing around these days.

Cole drives. Now he can use his new found attention-paying skill to save the lives of many pedestrians who might otherwise perish under the wheels of the old, inattentive Cole.

11 and 2 Buddy.  11 and 2. — 11 and 2 Buddy. 11 and 2.

Adding to my apprehensions about Cole driving are the unique driving customs in Maui where four centuries of driving Aloha style have taught locals to never signal, read signs, or merge in front of someone whose car is more crappy than yours. Sigh.

Demi

At Lahaina Intermittent School showing up on sunny days and speaking English put Demi at the head of her class. However, she ate a spam sandwich without offering the teacher a bite and was promptly expelled.

Demi did a very expensive try out with private Catholic school this year but standing for an hour long mass is exhausting so it’s back to cost-efficient generic Protestantism and the happy mediocrity of LIS, where the school motto is “Death to Haoles.”

Modifying my old Suzy Bake Oven for home science experiments, Demi has concocted and commercialized “Lice-Away” and “Floam-Out” (available everywhere Shave-ice is sold) She's yet to turn a profit because her sole client is Cole, and he’s 90 days in arrears.

Anytime I need something nice to wear, I just go to Demi and take it. Back. I see her less like a daughter and more like a clothes rack that wanders off.

Sulu

Maui does not grant visas to non-ambulatory cats so Sulu was left in storage with a big bowl of food. She escaped to a nail salon where all the superstitious, skinny Vietnamese women put her in a small pagoda and to this day venerate her morbid obesity. It will be years before they know she’s dead. Aloha Sulu.

Default disposition:  Grumpy. — Default disposition: Grumpy.

How old must one get before she stops starting over? This is Fresh Start #9 so I might be over quota.

I made a BIG fresh start four years ago to escape drowsy Maui, an island best suited to the retired and idle rich to create something better for myself and my children. I had many wins and more than a few losses in that time and returned for the same reason I left, to make the lives of my children better.

I also want to make my own life better but first I must make rent. My apartment came fully furnished – with cardboard boxes. You can sit anywhere you want as long as long as you weigh less than thirty pounds. (See Sulu! It was for the best! )

Maui’s last bank closed in ’47 so I had to make a choice: wait for the bank to reopen or sling timeshare. I’m impatient so I now talk professionally. (Is it really “professional” if you’re not making any money?)

Wishing love to you all and to all a good life....

xoxo

Stephanie