Hi, I’m Steph. I have 42 side hustles, one functioning vertebra, and a possum living in my apartment who respects me more than most men ever have.

A year ago I made yet another ADHD pivot…..I went from working at a German company no one could pronounce (Biotronik) to Boston Scientific, one of the biggest companies on the planet. One minute I was selling timeshares in my trauma era, the next I’m slinging glass radiation beads into livers like a glam assassin. I’m basically a doctor now. Just without the debt, the training, or the respect.

I always said I wanted to go to med school, and now I’m curing cancer in Louboutins with a venti latte and a God complex. So… pretty close.

Of course, I had to put my dream brand The Glitter Life™ — on hold, because after walking a mile in Yosemite I realized I have the spine of an overcooked lasagna noodle. So that’s on pause while I focus on back pain, taxes, and not losing my will to live in the produce aisle at Trader Joe’s.

Also, I am once again haunted by possums. I have a new roommate named Kate. A feral beast who breaks into my apartment at night, eats my cat’s food, drinks her water, and stares at me like we have unfinished business. I don’t chase her away. I get it. We’re both just trying to survive.

But I’m still here. In lashes. With dreams. With debt. With delusion. Waiting for a rich, emotionally available cowboy who wants to build a barn and talk about his feelings.

Until then… I work. I pivot. I roast myself.

God help us all.

Thank you to the Kaiser Oakland spine team for putting me back together again. Thank you to Molly Cedergreen, Demi Sheveland, Stacy Dow, Shelley Dow, Cole Sheveland, Sally Sparks, Gerald Dow, Sandi Albrecht, Sarah Mestanza, Susan Alton, Chuy Castaneda, David Romero, and EVERYONE that had my back during a very difficult time. I’M OKAY!!! :)